Some things you see in the news make you go “Oh please.” Let’s get into it:

After years of Hangin’ Tough, watching the varying worlds of pop culture pass them by, the New Kids on the Block are gearing up for a comeback, returning to their old stomping grounds, which I suppose is… the Block. (Does J. Lo owe them a licensing fee?)

NKOTB deserves credit for appearing on Today Show to announce their reunion. I found myself thinking about the late 80s. I saw the huge crowd, screaming girls, even some crying fans, all I imagine hired by the NK’s desperate chieftains. But you got to hand it to them—they did it right.

Young Gen-Xers and old Yers are ready to re-embrace the Kids Who Have Been Around the Block Quite a Few Times (now KWHBATBQAFT). Road to retro has not been easy. They were has beens for more than a minute and had to endure embarrassing solo careers, some attempts at serious acting, and no doubt at least one abortive stab as a real estate agent. Which leads me to think we can blame the subprime mess for this too!

The actor of the group, ole Donnie Wahlberg has been on the rise since the group disbanded in ‘94. He toured with little bro Marky and that nutty Funky Bunch, and by 1996 he was already on the big screen. He really worked for it! “I didn’t have big movie offers, or any big agents wanting to work with me,” he said. “I had to go grassroots, start at the bottom and go on 150 auditions before someone finally gave me a shot.” From The Sixth Sense to NBC’s brilliant but cancelled Boomtown, to a lead in HBO’s Emmy-winning Band of Brothers, Donnie managed to stay employed and relevant. He even has two projects in post-production in 2008. He’s smart, he’s building momentum and putting himself out there.

Others not so much. Danny Wood, aka, the one everyone forgot about, blogged to his fans, “I want to start off by saying I am so thankful and feel blessed to have this opportunity again.” Followed by”I feel like I have won the lottery twice.” Well, dude, you totally have.

He totally went one step too far then. “We finally have the chance to give all you guys what you have always deserved.” Didn’t you guys do that when you broke up in 1994?

The Backstreet Boys are what-happened-tos, too, but they’re only about six years removed from their peak. The Spice Girls? Check cashed. Between the two they’ve logged three comebacks, but the nicest way to put it is that one fizzled while two failed. As 70s nights fade, 80s nights are ruling, while 90s nights are still too fresh in our memories. To that, NKOTB provide an interesting lesson in nostalgia. There is value in carefully resurrecting old brands with a retro-cool feel that can draw from the well of pop culture’s goodwill.

Take Boones Farm Wine. No longer such a joke, right? What used to be down-market even by Kwiki Mart standards has T-shirts selling with the moniker at Saks; a fan site populated with photos of hipsters hitting the retro sauce (at boonesfarm.net), and more than a few celebrity endorsements by way of the groovier-than-thou tabloids.

Marketers have used old logos, promos, and slogans to reestablish emotional connections between brands and consumers for a while now. The smart ones, however, know the limits of this particular tactic. These must be short-lived, meant to give a jolt to a brand, not take the place of a genuine branding/rebranding effort. With that, you will note how McDonald’s may dust off old commercials every so often—but you will never see them completely going backward.

And that, my friends, is why this is the end for the Kids—quicker than you can say “blow your mind.” A quick splash of nostalgia-fueled fun, a couple of kitchsy (and well-covered) concerts, maybe even a new single grafted to a rerelease of a greatest hits collection…but that, folks, is it. Six months from now, it’s time to dust off the real estate licenses and go back to work.

As Linda Richmond might mutter: New Kids on the Block! Not new! Not kids! Discuss!