The City of New York is full of parks

Newspapers strive to be seen as the defenders of society

Everything today seems very recession-centric. You can

Despite the Chicken Little essence of the news lately, reports of the death of the newspaper industry have been greatly exaggerated. In fact, the industry will see a stunning Renaissance. To understand what is happening now and what will be happening over the next few years, we need look objectively at history and current state of journalism.

Not long ago, newspapers were comprised of facts, and only facts. When Hearst and Pulitzer had their squabbles during the gilded age, so-called yellow journalism sold copies and became part of the news landscape. But it was still regarded as not quite reporting. In the middle of the 20th century, the big blue tube became a primary source of local news and when Americans finally took the on-ramp of the info superhighway, newspapers put content online without any thought as to the impact this would have on the print business, which had always been dependent on classified and local ads (and sometimes subscriptions).

At that time, news organizations moved from reporting facts to proffering opinions, and reporters have since become mostly another batch of celebrities. Since TV news came aboard, we

By now, we

“@markosm One suggestion for cash-strapped newspapers: stop paying for opinions. There’s plenty of GOOD free stuff floating around.”

News came this week that the New York Times Company has but $34 million left in the bank. Industry watchers have even suggested that the company might shutter the Boston Herald in an attempt to save some operating costs. That would definitely work, but I think I have a better idea: Get rid of your paid opinionmakers.

Paul Krugman is a Nobel Laureate in Economics. He has several bestsellers that have made it into multiple editions. The man

I’m not ashamed to say it. My generation was the first “seriously cool” generation. We are post-boomer, and yep it’s true: We had it all figured out. Everything made sense to us, we seemed to come along at the right time.

Fast forward a few (semed like quite a few) years and as we were getting settled that Gen X arrived on the scene. The X kids weren’t anything truly special as a gen — young adults who worked all day, drank at night, talked a lot about what they deserved, and happened to know how to use a computer. Dirty little secret: Our group was much less boring than those dudes.

Then there’s today. What now? We have a bunch of twentysomethings who look everything up on Wikipedia b4 the question is asked. Sure, all this open source is great, but it can’t teach you what you need to know about the humanist side of things.

Generation WTF is, according to you, unstoppable. Lest I sound like a crotchety old man (ROFL. That’s an acronym thrown in for the kids!), let me say I DO know several WTFers really well, and work with them on a fairly frequent and not un-fun basis. The WTF phenomenon is not a passing phase, either, as it seems to stick to many new grads.

The new gen’s We Came First stance is also partially deserved. A ton of tech/social change has been proliferated during your short adulthood and you guys grabbed it and owned it full-stop. However, in the rush to instant expertise, WTFers often forget that the inventors of the stuff they use everyday were born in my time. Ahem.

Yeah yeah, you know it. All these ramblings arrived in me while wandering the streets of downtown Austin at SXSW (”South By”). So the next time you call me sir, Mr and Ms WTF, how’s about breathing a bit of context into your next kind of smarmy Tumblr update?

Can you do that kid. Can you?

Springtime appears to be (almost) upon us here in New York, a town of broken promises, well-spent dreams, and lit-up boulevards. The snow is gone, the tourists are back - did they ever actually leave - and the air once again smells like… uh… New York.

Sure, spring is a time to clean your house, but here at Laermer.com we think we should start to celebrate a new holiday this year in honor of Spring Cleaning for Our Souls:

So it

Remember that “close talker” on Seinfeld? Well, me, I’m a “future talker,” the man who shows people how to see clearly into the not-so-distant future!

I do a lot of talking — publicly, privately and to myself. Normally, I give speeches about “Punk Marketing” and how to make yourself better at selling. But with the advent of my popular book that I

1. BAILOUT FOR BOOKS
First people stop buying books as Wii, DVR, and Hulu make it too easy to do eye exercises. Prez Obama sinks a cool billion into life support for the publishing doofuses. Taxpayers take to the street to protest; then the hullabaloo makes people realize Barnes & Noble is in fact a bookstore, not a coffee shop.

2. MACY’S GOES CASUAL
People learn Target and Macy’s basically sell the same stuff and stop paying attention to their advertising. Macy’s becomes “Walmart without dog food and toilet paper.”

3. A HEART-WARMING BLOCKBUSTER?
A movie opens quietly that touches people’s hearts and yet has no celebrities. What occurs is this: Wes Anderson changes his name to something obscure and recruits actors via YouTube auditions. They shoot the feel-good movie of the year in Prospect Park, and it grosses more than a billion. But alas, the goodwill is ruined by the studio’s DVD-release hype.

4. BLOOMBERG VS. CHAINS
The City of New York bans store chains from opening more than one location in any neighborhood. As 7-Elevens invade the territory reserved for the grimy neighborhood bodega, third-termer Michael Bloomberg proclaims that every city block ought to have at least one store where it’s fine for locals to sit outside on milk crates and drink $2 Snapple out of paper bags . Subsequently, taxes rise. I heart NY.

5. A MAGAZINE STAYS OPEN, SELLS ADS
The post-millennial Saturday Evening Post announces that it is merging with Playboy, and suddenly Martha and O’s magazines are in big trouble. The new mag publishes things people want to read and engenders brand loyalty in its readers by being authentic and dirty. The printed word is the new black.

6. A BIG IDEA
Someone not named Donnie Deutsch takes over the 10 p.m. spot on CNBC and does interviews with people who have something to say that isn’t a prepared statement by flacks. Jeff Zucker for once gets a night’s sleep.

7. THE IPHONE TIDE
The iPhone is given away with boxes of Tide detergent. Steve Jobs takes to the stage at MacWorld and proclaims that Tide is all he ever uses on his closetful of black turtlenecks and jeans because, “like Apple, Tide is a noun, and I like nouns.” The iPhone is priced down to $9.99, and Americans begin to make all their spending money selling ideas via the App Store.

8. BANDWAGONING
After the calamitous failure of several self-help biz books, we start noting how much cheaper it is to enact someone else’s great idea — and pretend it’s ours. The ‘09 way to live a saner and more successful existence is by, you guessed it, jumping on the bandwagon in order to forgo sitting at the reins trying to blaze the trail ourselves.

9. BAD TV IS BANNED
All remaining reality TV gigs, “One Tree Hill” and the ridiculously skinny “90210″ are banned by the feds because a CDC study proves they are in fact not guilty pleasures at all but instantly kill brain cells upon viewing. The ACLU challenges the move as a violation of free speech, or at least a bad use of pee breaks. The liberals win, and a Fox reality show is quickly constructed. Its title: “ACLU-Ville.”

10. EXECS SELL THEIR SOLES
Those bass-ackward Kenneth Cole HELP ads inspire jobless executives to hawk $500 loafers on New York’s Canal Street. In a similar story, “My Super Sweet 16″ is canceled because no one is able to afford to pay for parties that huge and absurd anymore. Rational people rejoice. 2009 is heralded as a banner year!