Madonna seems to have a case of Girls Gone Wild-itis. Five years after swapping spit with Britney and X-tina, The Material Mom has proven again there’s an insecure college freshman in all of us….. Doing her seemingly bored jaunt hyping her new collection of quickly-thrown-together dance tunes, Madonna indulged in an onstage girl-on-girl kiss while performing in Paris. Turns out all the money and success in the world can’t buy better judgment – no judgment, of course.

Once upon a time this was totally Madonna’s thing. Her image was sex and it worked. That’s it. From her cone-shaped bras to those onstage simulated sex antics, Madonna was not only controversial, but captivating too. We couldn’t look away.

That was then. One marriage and three children later have changed things. Earth to Madonna, this stuff no longer shocks or amuses us. It’s confusing. Not the good kind of confusing. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but things have changed.

Her last book was a children’s book, not a sex book (there is a G-d), and she has replaced the likes of Sandra Bernhard with Lourdes, Rocco and the one she stole from Africa (how on earth did Access Hollywood manage to get that guy to talk?).

Madonna is married to Guy Ritchie. Last time I checked, publicly kissing another person is cheating. Male, female, on or offstage – remember this, Madge, a kiss is still a kiss.

How does Mr. Madonna feel watching his wife declare to her audience, “I’m always drawn to working with French people - and frenching French people. Vive la France!” Her awkward declaration led to a make out with her not-so-French back up dancer. Hmmm. Yeah. As if the guy doesn’t feel emasculated enough.

Point is, Madonna should be passed this by now. Yes, sexuality has always been a part of her image. She’s done enough of everything to forever cement that not only in our minds, but also in history. We get it.

What we love(d) about Madonna is her ever evolving, reinventing self – please, let’s have the sex stuff follow that. It’s icky.

Even if we weren’t so weirded out by her behavior, without having to go into this more—it’s simply old. This too needs to evolve. We’re not captivated, we’re bored. There’s no greater sin than boredom, M.

Instead of approaching the Big 50 like a 19-year-old desperately seeking attention, welcome it as an icon. Think of what Roseanne said at the TV Land Awards: “This is awesome! In old age you are congratulated, no longer that obnoxious bitch.”

Our long in the tooth President, George Dubya Bush, recently said “So long as I’m the President, my measure of success is victory — and success.” While the statement clearly does not make any sense, it sure explains a lot. If success is measured in success, and he’s the one measuring it, I’m just lost. We are all lost. And according to former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, that’s really the point.

The entire Bush Admin is going gaga over McClellan’s 341-page collection of anecdotes making money off Bush and Friends’ love of spin. This timely (okay maybe a bit late) memoir accuses Bush and the cronies of going easy on the truth and hiding behind propaganda. Who can blame them? The truth, she ain’t so pretty.

McClellan believes we were lied to and claims that he once fell for the propaganda rather than face the issues they pulled out their PR guns. He thinks “[Bush] and his advisers confused the propaganda campaign with the high level of candor and honesty so fundamentally needed to build and then sustain public support during a time of war.” Instead of carefully determining whether or not a war was necessary, they thought of ways to spin it to the American people. (BTW – how’s that working for you guys?)

McClellan blames the permanent campaign culture – terrific new buzz term – for the spin and untruthyness. I am constantly stressing the fundamental need for corporations and brands to employ smart PR. However, smart PR is not lying, it’s communicating. Welcome to an outstanding example of the tactic, let’s not use PR to communicate! Let’s use it to obfuscate!

Dubya is proud of the campaign culture. He recently explained “that in 2000 I said, ‘Vote for me. I’m an agent of change.’ In 2004, I said, ‘I’m not interested in change –I want to continue as president.’ Every candidate has got to say ‘change.’ That’s what the American people expect.”

With that we expected the truth – maybe even a message with a little bit of honesty. But no.

The former First PR Guy claims he was lied to by the Administration that is known for deceit. After being assured from top to bottom that Karl Rove and BFF Scooter were not involved in leaking agent Valerie Plame’s name, McClellan spoke to the press to defend them Of course we all found out that they did leak the name and someone forgot: “The first rule about Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club.” Mr. McClellan was made a liar.

When Scott McClellan went to the White House Press Corps with that statement of “fact,” he was unknowingly fibbing. Some may not get why a PR pro would be so upset but it’s really simple: that lie cost him media street cred. At the end of the day, which is about 7 p.m., the only thing PR peeps have is their credibility. Yes we spin some (sometimes even at the gym) but the core of the message should always be true. When you lose it you’re out.

The White House is angry he wrote this book and much of the public (and the press) seem pissed it took him so long, but a lot of us know how slow the publishing world is. Personally, I think it’s a step in the right direction. As GW himself once said, a bit too cheerily, “All of us in America want there to be fairness when it comes to justice.” Who doesn’t, really?

Really. Who doesn’t?